a million little versions...

Ok, so I have been here for 43 days, 1032 hours, 61,920 minutes or 3,715,200 seconds... (just an update)

I got back from the lake,

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, late last night. The translation is 'You fish on your side. I fish on my side and no one will fish in the middle.

It was a good weekend filled with jet skiing, boating, swimming, making smores, napping and laughing. It was the best weekend. We would all sleep in, have a lazy morning filled with slow breakfasts and cool swims as a nice break from the 32C weather. The boys taught me how to drive the jet skis and I caught on quickly (very Angelina Jolie circa Lara Croft, Tomb Raider)

None of us showered the entire time we were there. Instead, we would all walk the 3 steps from the front door down to the water's edge and at midnight, all the girls would be in one line washing and massaging the head in front of them.

The lake is huge and so pretty, there are so many people who live full time but somehow I felt like we were the only ones there. During the day, we would take the boat out to the middle, where it was so deep (100feet) and spend an hour diving off the boat, getting back on and diving off again.

This week I also found out that one of my friends who I met when we flew over here together has decided to go home. She has realised that this year isn't what she wants/ was expecting and that she is ready to return home and get on with her life. I understand this and I must say that this is a feeling that I do struggle with. I sometimes let my over-active brain go to thoughts like 'whats going to happen after a year'?, "what do I want to do 'when I grow up"? or even, 'am I wasting my time over here'.

Then I had a thought, we are made up of, not one, but a million different versions of ourselves, changing each and every moment. With each thought, action, each word, each look, we change. So with that said, I owe it to the girl who worked her butt of in a coffee shop. I owe it to a girl who gave away or donated the majority of her possessions. I owe it to the girl who promised the future version of herself that she would stick this year out, and suck it of all the opportunities it has to offer. I owe it to the girl that in 10mths and 2 weeks will return home a different person and so so proud of herself that she stuck this year out.