Friday, November 28, 2008

family happiness

It is perhaps my greatest fear
though it is just now a pain in my mind.
It came with age.
As a child, I feared more abstract things
darkness, demons, bumble bees

But now, the fear that haunts me is one too real to disregaurd.

A girl
A dreamer
She waits and waits for love to come
She dreams of how he'll smell
And the words he'll use and stories he'll tell
She awaits the heartbeats
And turns down the bed sheets
And perhaps her lover comes
And perhaps they marry
Set sail
And are blissfully in love

for a while(and that is the part that scares me the most)

I've always heard it said that marriage
Is about finding a partner, someone to walk out life with you
Like a buisness deal of sorts
And making a decision to love them
For time wages war on the affections of man

And perhaps you have caterpilars
And perhaps you are taken with wild glee
But soon enough, it fades into a painful memory
And you are left with a personA person you love
But the love has changed
Grown, matured, and settled into a rational decision.
I will love you. I made a promise.

This is my fear
That the fire will fade
And I will be unable to stop the inevitable
And I wonder if I must accept it
Seperate rooms
Cordial conversation
Dutiful compliments
Australian Idol night

If it is as they say
Then I will chose to be alone
For I cannot and will not bow to ideals of comfortable tolerance

I want insanity
breaking glass
open roads
story books

But how does one know?
Can you ever know?
Or is it a risk we take
A leap into darkness
Knowing that it is truly better to taste love
if only for a moment
and be glad that you were lucky enough to breath its air


1 comment:

Melanie B said...

what do I know my thoughts on marriage!! It is not a bad thing to have both.....quietness & passion!!! A good one takes work, so be prepared for that. I love you my complex, incredibly talented & beautiful girl.
Love you
Me xx