Wednesday, February 25, 2009

just for a day...

Today has been one of those days where everything from the last few weeks has seem to have caught up. Today is that somber day where I sit back and wonder what the heck am I doing here? Like a hamster in a wheel I feel like I continue to walk around and around in circles and the only way I know Ive walked this territory before is that I see the notes, from myself, promising that I would never again be here. But somehow I am.

I don't know if its a mixture of exhaustion and lack of time but today I woke up, looked at my reflection in the mirror and felt like I have lost all direction, not vision for those without vision perish, but I guess in many ways I thought my life would look different than it does.

Do you ever feel like we are always waiting for something. treading water until he notices you. Killing time until the wedding. Waiting to buy a house or have a baby. Just waiting waiting waiting????

I need Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 to hit my stubborn, over thinking, slightly obsessive compulsive head, as I remember once more that there is a time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.

And then I think I need to sleep, rest and know that He is God..

1 comment:

Conor said...

I never would have guessed this but, not all that long ago you left me a comment on a blog telling me life is full of seasons.Brittany just as summer turns to autumn and winter to spring we go through seasons of growth of movement forward, but also seasons of going around in circles. The good thing about going around in circles is when you've gone down the path already you know what to look for, however more importantly you get a chance to look at it again from your new point of view, and you may find you see something new and different and when that comes to be you have entered your new season, your proverbial spring, of new Life and births and beginnings, I'm certainly not saying your going to give birth or something as drastic as that, but you will soon enough enter the new season, all in His timing, I heard a great thing last Sunday about time, and we know chrónos, and some may know kairos meaning the opportune time, but God works with pleroma meaning the FULLNESS of time, but not just any time, it's HIS time, had joseph gotten out of prison within his own time, he would have been assistant to the cup bearer instead he got out in pleroma - the fullness of God's time and was the ruler of Egypt. Surely I tell you this I still get impatient and sometimes feel like I'm in a rut, but it is for my good and for my growth, and yours too; that we go through these seasons...

wowza that was huge.. =)