Wednesday, February 17, 2010

things that men will never understand

1. Just because we have a grey cashmere cardigan/ Miu Miu bag, it never ever means we don't need another one.

2. Making us watch football is the equivalent of us making you paint your toenails. It goes against nature.

3. Scarlett Johansson wouldn't go out with you if you met her. Think realistic for your laminated list. That's why we've ditched Brad Pitt for a more realistic Robert Pattinson, who is single and hasnt adopted half of the developing world.

4. If your proposal isn't at least as extraordinary as our friend Andrea, Tiffany or Jessica's. We'll probably never quite forgive you.

5. "Are those space-pants? Because your ass is out of this world..." may get a laugh, but in no way guarantees said pants are coming off.

6. Making the bed. "But we're just going to get back into it later." It. Doesn't. Matter. Make the damn thing.

7. Tupperware and cling-film. Allow us to introduce you to these magical things that keep your food fresh and your fridge from smelling like socks.

8. Somebody once said that the pain of childbirth is equivalent to being repeatedly kicked in the balls for however many hours the labour lasts. Think that over.

9. Fart jokes are only funny if you have a penis.

10. Blonde hair and a cleavage don't automatically denote a good-time girl. Nor do brunette hair and sophisticated clothes denote intelligent 'wife' material. They're totally interchangeable. Rarely, but sometimes.

11. We'd rather you didn't have a perfect six-pack. When you do, it makes us feel like we need one too. Which ain't gonna happen.

12. Topgear is to you, what Oprah is to me. enough said.

13. Flowers, chocolates and cards may all seem like an over-priced, sickly romantic waste of time. But they are important to us, and make us feel oh-so-special.

Realistically, this list could go on forever. At the end of the day, I love our differences. I love being with a man who is the salt to my pepper. the sweet to my sour. the night to my day. Men create the perfect contrast and I am lucky enough to be with one that brings out the best in me. Lets challenge and embrace our differences.

Continue this list as a comment. xo


Karen said...

When we say nothings wrong...Obviously there is! We just want to know how much you really care by how many times you keep asking!!!

PS...I like Topgear :)

Melanie B said...

Bahahhahahahaha you are so eloquent!! The beauty of the differences between men and women a century old thing!!
Love it!!

Me xx

ps I like top gear too!!! Ooohhh and boys movies!!!